When He Looked Back
by Eyes-of-Crimson
Summary: [Oneshot][Akuroku] A broken man is only so recognizable...


**A/N:** Yeah...this is my first Kingdom Hearts fic. And it sucks XD;; It's been raining here in Dallas a lot, so that was the scene I had playing my mind over and over. Yay for Akuroku!!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Kingdom Hearts. I don't even have a copy of the game XD;;

* * *

This couldn't be happening...

Axel ran as fast as he could along the sidewalk, his hurried pants visible in the cold night's air. His throat was aflame, his muscles ached, his lungs were burning, but he kept running ahead. Usually this kind of thing only happened in nightmares, but this was reality, and the nightmare was almost a mile in front of him. The wind that was once pounding his back was now hitting his front, and he cursed the Dallas winds with everything he could muster at this moment of fatigue and exhasution.

This familiar path was only a blur now, as was nearly everything around him. He was barely thinking, if at all, and he hardly paid attention to the turns he took; he was going to have to thank his subconcious for that. It lead him to the place he went every day, five days a week. The high school was so close, but so damn far. Even though the distance was a grueling one to run at night in January in unpredictable-weather Texas, he was glad it wasn't anywhere else.

Where else could they have such a meaningful meeting than the place where they first met?

Axel jumped over a puddle, lost his footing, and fell to the wet cement below. He cringed, but not at the pain; he cringed because this fall gave him a second to rest, and that was the worst thing that could happen right now. He jumped to his feet, wavering a bit in his tall, slim body. He shook his head, wild with red spikes, and took off sprinting again, the hole in his chest being torn open by numbing air.

In what took the longest time, yet the fastest time in his head, he was jog-walking awkwardly around the front of the school, confused.

He had told Axel...

Axel ran around to the side where the Band Hall door was located, and through the sudden downpour of rain he couldn't find one other idiot who was out here besides him. He axiously bounced around back to the front, taking shelter beneath the entryway. He shivered, he coughed, he practically cried when the person he came here for showed up.

"Roxas!" Axel screamed, rushing towards his dear friend. He was headed toward the Band Hall side again as he once again ran, his feet sloshing in the muddy ground. He refused to accept that most of the water running down his face wasn't the rain as his knees weakened when he caught the ocean-blue eyes staring at him.

They were cold, hard diamond. There was no emotion, just that solid, bright color. Staring at him, _etching into him_. Axel wanted to drop to his knees, but he didn't want to look so needy before this blonde-haired boy.

"Roxas...Roxas, you came..." he breathed, wrapping his arms around the dry boy. Roxas had been smart enough to bring an umbrella, but it didn't do much good against Axel's larger, soaked-to-the-bone body. Roxas shivered and shoved Axel away, though, clearly not happy. Axel, his face slowly falling apart, held Roxas's shoulders and peered into his eyes. "Roxy, what's wrong?"

"I'm leaving. Don't stop me." was all Roxas said. Axel was shocked. Roxas...his Roxas...was leaving? Where to? Why? When? "I'm going to find out why my father abandoned me. I'll go anywhere to know. I'll leave anything behind."

Roxas had always been stubborn, but this...this...

"Roxas...what--"

"And any_one_."

Axel no longer held back and let himself fall. Mud splashed all over him and a little bit on Roxas. His long arms were still stretched up and his hands were still clasping Roxas's shoulders tightly like a lifeline. He now accepted the tears that were raining down his face, uncontrollable.

"Roxas...please don't..."

"It's over, Axel."

Axel burried his face in Roxas's chest, sobbing pathetically. He begged, but his pleads were lost in the rain and in Roxas's clothing. Why was he leaving? Why was his precious, precious Roxas leaving him behind? What had he done wrong?

"Why? Why, Roxas, why? Tell me why, please." Axel's voice finally came through. Roxas, still blank of emotion, didn't respond for a moment.

"...I told you. I have to find out."

"But why do you have to leave me?!"

"Because it's the only way to leave this place and never come back."

Axel hugged Roxas's small body closer, his shoulders trembling.

"Why? What have I done to deserve this? What did I say, what did I do?" he whimpered. Roxas flinched a little bit, but not enough to be detected.

"You did nothing wrong. I did." Roxas said, emotion in his voice at last. It was comforting, and Axel swore he could feel a hand on his head, but he knew that it was just wishful thinking.

"You can't do anything wrong, Roxas. Everything you do is perfect. Roxas, don't leave me, please!"

Axel let go of Roxas when the blonde was pushing on his shoulders. His hands lay defeated in his lap, his head hanging to the side and staring up at Roxas with a look of pure despair. Roxas didn't seem to be affected.

"I'm sorry. Goodbye."

And he turned away. His black cloth jacket whipped in the wind, the rain hitting his umbrella loudly. Axel reached for him, the tears never ending.

"Roxas, why can't you take me with you?"

Roxas, without any hesitation, said words that tore Axel up even more.

"You'd just get in the way. I don't need to drag along someone who's just going to weigh me down. When I said 'it's over' I meant it, Axel."

Then Roxas walked away, never looking back. Axel, hunched over and cold, hid his face in his hands. When he looked up, the only way he could find Roxas was the little blonde dot crossing the street farther ahead. His throat was dry, and his chest was ripped open, but he still found energy to yell.

"ROXAS, I LOVE YOU!!" he screamed, slamming his hands down on the ground. He stared as his ex stopped, but sobbed again when he only took off running out of sight. Axel, known for his strength, his masculinity and his pride, was on his knees, bawling his eyes out over being dumped by the boy he loved, the one he thought loved him as well.

He was so broken that when Roxas looked back, he didn't recognize him anymore.


End file.
